Cheese Balls

Time to brighten up this blog, get away from the doom and gloom, and get back to finding the amusing things in life. For example, my amazing pieces of art-work. (This is a sun incase you can't tell).

We had multicultural day at work today. We all brought different types of food. I cooked Bunuelos (insert diacritical tilde over n - yes, it makes a difference). Now you can begin to picture my beautiful Colombian features. My olive skin. Big dark eyes. Curves and curls alike. Or you can scrap all that and realise that I'm just an ordinary Aussie, who a) can use Google, and b) liked the idea of everyone at work going around talking about my cheese balls.

Oh it was a lovely day. The sun was shining, there was music in the air. And there was food. Oh so much food. But the part that pleased me most - was the giggle I got every time I heard someone commenting on my cheesy balls. "These balls are not as cheesy as I would have thought," said some. "But they are rather salty little balls." Giggle. Giggle. I know - it's immature. But when you work in a workplace like mine, you've got no choice but to let a little immaturity in to brighten your day. And, as I asked more and more people if they had tried my salty balls, I was reminded of the days when I used to find South Park amusing. For the rest of the day I had to refrain from singing (in front of clients): "Suck on my Cheesy (not chocolate) Salty Balls." Finally - after 13 years - I found this song funny.

As I left work, with that obnoxious song looping over and over in my head, I was reminded how important it was to find those funny moments in life. To let that jiggling feeling just above your stomach and close to your heart jiggle 'til you giggle. And, even if the day slaps you in the face like a bit wet fish, you can always tell it to "Suck on my Cheesy Salty Balls. Stick 'em in your mouth and SUCK 'EM"

The Magic Number 2

Teeooooooowwwww weeeeeeeekks Twwwwooooooo weeeeeeeks. I just can't seem to say this phrase without prolonging each vowel and imagining the need to rip my big fat rubbery face off.

Funnily enough this is actually a pretty good metaphor for the coming two weeks. I can already feel every second being painfully drawn out. Every hour at work seems longer than the last. Every day seems as though it began a month ago. And I live, every moment, in fear of being unmasked as the fraud I am - the one who has managed to wing her way through the year so far. Now if I could just make it through these two weeks to the holiday ahead before everything shuts down and I run out of oxygen like Quaid at the end of this movie.

Ok, so maybe it's not quite as dire as being asphyxiated or having to pull a golfball out of my brain through my nostril, but I am noticing a small downward trend in my overall enthusiasm. For example, my mini new-year fitness regime has been reduced to "if it can't be delivered it's not going in my belly." Which sounds like a great diet yeah? But with the wonders of modern technology and having given birth to my own personal slave nearly 12 years ago just so I could be lazy at this particular point in my life - let's just say I am not going hungry.

Tonight was a good example of that. The child slave went out for the night. I ordered in pizza. But I ordered online. Where all the deals come out and entice you in. Before I knew it I had a whole family sized meal (justified by the fact that I would eat it for lunch the next day). But while we're talking about justifying. I also justified that since my family consists of two people, there was nothing wrong with eating half of a family sized meal, as I am, in fact, half of this family...

I just hope I don't keep that up for the entire two weeks. I mean I've always wanted to be twice the woman I am, but not quite like that. And at this rate I will definitely have put on two times what I lost in the whole year in this measly two weeks.

Now I hear you saying "this number two doesn't sound very magic to me." But here are all the good ways the number two is going to make all those past twos seem like nothing:

* only two more long meetings with my worst clients;

* only two more mini meetings with my worst clients;

* two fun days out of the work place; then...

* not only two weeks holiday,

* two weeks of comedy festival living

* two weeks of child free fun... but also

* an extra two added public holidays before I have to head back to work!!

I just hope I can make it...

I'm blue!

I'm blue I was green I was dyed, I was green I was dyed... my favourite version of Eiffel 65s first (haha) hit single. As wrong as the lyrics may be, this song really sums up the last couple of weeks, for both good and bad.

This blog begins with a party. A party of SUPER (Mario) proportions. That's right - a video game themed party. There was PacMan and (Speedy) / "Pinky"; Lego Indianna Jones; two Wii-fit instructors; a Floater Lemming; Princess Peach (Mario's gf); Princess Daisy (Luigi's gf); the green 'Bubblun' dragon from Bubble Bobble; two Darth Vaders; the extra life from every game; numerous Sims characters; and, the piece de resistance, everyone's favourite blue Sega character: Sonic the Hedgehog!

Ahhh what a night! There was food, and alcohol, and family, and friends and all the things a good night relies on. But to go one better than that - there was also face-paint and hair spray, creativity and bubbles, and... way more Lycra than should ever be seen in one place! I got to catch up with people that now live up to 800kms away from me, and with people who I see every day but never really get to talk to. I got to lounge on the couch for the next two days with my besties, being lazy and eating whatever we wanted when we wanted. And for these two days everything, for me was blue. And blue meant awesome. And as I washed my hair for the third time on the Tuesday when work went back, I watched those last few drops of blue rinse from my head, and I was happy that I had made it to 30 just to enjoy that long weekend.

But, of course, blue usually represents things that aren't so happy. And after the excitement of some 'me' time, the working week proved to be much more of a struggle to endure. Now, I'm still trying to refrain from giving away my profession. But let's just say the following scenarios entered my working week, and left me feelin' a little blue (images may appear slightly exaggerated).

Ok. So I didn't die. I didn't even suffer smoke inhalation. No black eyes from the fight. Not even a paper cut from the metaphorical heavy 'books' of stress. But I did start to think that I could talk until I was blue in the face and no-one would ever listen. And then came the melt down. A stupid moment in time where I decided it was smart to put my frustrations in to writing. I told some important people I was not willing to be ignored any longer, and that I didn't want any more extra work - that someone else would have to pick up the slack instead. You'd think I would have learned from previous mistakes and kept my stupid rant for anonymous blogging. Needless to say, my stress was not reduced - rather it was tripled as I was called in to the boss to explain myself.

As I sat there, a little embarrassed and a little teary, I looked down at my hands in shame. And there it was...

Slightly tattered, and torn... I was reminded:

I didn't have to feel blue.

I had been blue.

And it was awesome!

Dear Diary

Aghggghghghghghghgh!

So, I moved blogs so I could have somewhere to put my retarded pictures. But omg - I've just spent the last half hour trying to do a 'dot point post' including pictures. Just when you think you've got the bullets sorted (and they're all sorts of crazy) you add a picture and the whole things gets thrown completely out of whack.

So here's my boring, diary style entry (yes, I've lost all urge to be funny).

This is a list of all the things I was too busy or bored to write about in the last week or so:

1. Finished tiling my floor. Now, to wash all the black stuff off the walls, the other floors, the tiles, and myself... I also have a sudden urge to play a massive game of one sided chess...
2. Got soooo old I crossed into another decade. Spent the day being completely ignored by my child and completely spoiled by my colleagues and clients.
3. I tried oysters for the first time ever, and enjoyed them. But was both disappointed and relieved that they had no horny making powers. Disappointed that the rumours were false. And relieved as I was only in the company of family, and well, let's not discuss my recent sexual endeavours or lack thereof.
4. With the help of an amazing friend or two I completely re-transformed my house. Ripped up carpet, set up outdoor eating areas, reorganised my Coca-cola collection, ripped out plants, cleared out the garage and fell in a heap.
5. Deliberately tried to kill a few clients, but that's a story for another time...
6. Finally received my Zentai (full body lycra) suit in the mail and spent my morning preparation time re-enacting an imaginary hold up, as seen on Smurf Nightly News.

All up it's been a pretty exciting and busy week. And now I must rest and make sure I make it through the rest of the work week so I can fully enjoy all my hard work as people arrive from interstate to hang out in my 'new' house with their super sonic blue friend!

Yawn

So, I gave up Cocacola 2 months ago. This was a big thing for me. I used to have a can with every meal (including morning tea, afternoon tea, dessert, midnight snack...). Anyway, I figured maybe I should try a little bit of an exercise regime to go with this little health kick. I mean, in the past I have tried exercising, generally through things like the Wii games. The only problem with this is that after an hour of working out (at a pretty sweaty level for me) and getting some encouragement that I have 'done amazing' (a pet hate that I'll have to write about another time) I am told that I have burned 100kcal! Yay! Until I realise that I have taken in 139kcal from the single can of Coke I drank during that workout!! (Perhaps I should add here that until 2011 I also had severe 'anti-water' issues and had probably taken in more water by forgetting to block my nose at the pool than I had chosen to drink in my whole lifetime).

But back to 2011. I've given up Coke and am hitting the water like a teenage girl and alchopops. I worked my way through the Wii Active 30 Day challenge and was thrilled to complete it despite the lame, unenthusiastic ending to the game. But, this week, my friend convinced me to come back to boxercise - a class I had taken once or twice before and really enjoyed because it was similar to my favourite wii exercise - rhythm boxing. I think the instructor was a little angry at my lengthy absence. Because she drilled us! And I mean she found all the things that she knew I had difficulty doing, and then made us all do 10 times more of them than we normally would. And so, after 70+ pushups and the same for sit-ups (which turned into crunches when I had NOTHING left) I have no feeling from the waste up. Which means that tasks as simple as drinking the water I have now come to cherish leads to me looking like a slightly brain damaged gorilla.

And what do I have to show for this two months of 'being good'? Sore arms. Zero weight loss. And 'joy' in the knowledge that if I choose to start a trend of Cleese style walking my legs could probably handle it (thank you Wii-Active jump lunges).

So, it turns out this might be a blog...

Finally, after over a year, I have decided that this perhaps is a blog and I should do something about writing in it once or twice. I also have to admit to having blogged elsewhere, and so, as an intro to this post it probably wouldn't hurt to have seen that one.

http://choofa90.wordpress.com/

Turns out Blogspot has wayyyyy more features and no limits on the amount of pics I can post. To some that might be a bad thing. I mean, if you've seen my drawings from the other blog you might in fact ask me to stop drawing in amongst my writing. But let's face it - the writing is nothing to write home about either.

So, I'll keep this one short (mainly because I'm lazy, but secondly because I only posted [on the other site] late last night and I'm all blogged out).

Here's a snapshot of my day. Take it as you will.