I missed her today.

For the first time in a year.

It made me so sad.

Then it made me happy.

Maybe I'm not a monster.

Maybe I was just lost.

So, here I am again.

It's been a crazy year of this:

Which has slowly turned...

I'm on holidays again, watching copious amounts of television and barely getting out of the house. The only difference between last year and this? Last year I used movies as an excuse to spend time with the guy I would at some point think I loved, and not leaving the house was exciting, and usually involved stupid amounts of sex. This year I'm using television shows to distract me from thinking about love or sex, and not leaving the house is the only thing preventing me from crying in public.

I thought writing might be some relief. That I could turn my stupidity into something comical. But it would appear I can't. But I will keep trying. It's all I've got left.