I'm back, and I've got something to keep me typing over the holidays. That's right - I said holidays! The year has come to a close and I am free! Free I tell you!! And what will I do with my 5 weeks of freedom? Well, the plan is:
NOT MUCH AT ALL!!
So far I've spent my time hanging out with friends, lounging on couches, watching movies, swimming at the weir, and eating poorly. Just my favourite set of holiday pastimes. Somewhere during this amazing amount of nothingness (somewhere between eye candy and real candy) I suggested to a friend that I might just watch a stupid amount of movies these holidays and that would be my mission. He said 50. I said easy. And somehow we settled on:
And so it began... my
SUMMER HOLIDAY MUSCLE MELTING
MOVIE MADNESS MISSION
The rules are this:
Rule number one: I can change the rules at any time, cos I'm the only one playing.
Rule number two: 10% of the movies must be in 3D
Rule number three: because I begged and sooked and was concerned that I might not be able to stand up to get to work after 5 weeks of movie watching coma - so to make sure I stand up occasionally, each WiiActive workout counts towards my movie total. Although, despite my desperate desire to watch the rest of season 6 of Dexter, TV shows apparently do not count. But I'm going to squeeze them in somehow anyway.
Number One: "Little Red Riding Hood"
No, not the cartoon version. The 2011 Fantasy / Horror / Mystery version. What can I say about it? The lag, and the company, made it a little hard to focus on. It was nearly 2am boxing day morning when I started this movie on my horribly uncomfortable couch. Normally I'd pull out the bed in the couch, but I'm not sure if that's allowed when your company is barely legal, and you're an old lady...Never the less, I managed to get through it and find it somewhat enjoyable. The real mystery came from the fact that you think you know what it's all about from the 400 times you heard the fairy tale as a kid. I spent a good part of the movie saying "it's the Grandma - it's always the Grandma!" and of course it wasn't the Grandma. I wanted to believe it was the huntsman, but we all know she gets saved by the huntsman. In the end I don't think I even cared who it was who was killing everyone, and after you found out, it took another 20 minutes for the movie to end - with the mini sex scene the only redeeming feature. One thing I must say about it though - they picked a good actress. Not because she's a good actress, but because Amanda Seyfried has indeed perfected the 'shock horror' eye popping look. In fact I'm not sure there was a time when she didn't appear mortified, horrified, or mystified. "My Grandma, what big eyes you have." "All the better for proving we're related and getting roles in so-called horror movies!"
When: 3pm Boxing day
Location: Cinema
Company: My gorgeous office girlfriend.
Verdict: good girly movie. Cried when the horses got hurt. Cried at the thought of people going to war. Cried at all the happy war is over type moments. Ok. I lied. I didn't cry, but I so woulda if I was at home alone. I did physically do the eye covering thing at a few gory moments (somehow realistic gory moments are so much harder to look at than the ones, say, from the next movie...)
Number Three: "My Bloody Valentine"
When: 11pm Boxing Day
Location: Techie's houbse - in 3D!
Company: Techie.
Verdit: Nice amount of mystery mixed in with all the gore. Pretty cool in 3D. Didn't pick the ending - so that's always nice. Was a nice message to make me feel bad about my shitty parenting and use of the Facebook babysitter - but I was pleased to find my daughter hand't been hacked to death when I returned home.
Number Four: "I don't know how she does it" (2011)
All the whens and wheres etc: My place. Lunch Time. On my lonesome.
How did I even come about downloading this movie? Sarah Jessica Parker and Pierce Brosnan pretending to not be sluts. Mum with adoring husband tries to juggle work and kids. Blah. Apart from the missing partner, sounds remarkably like my life anyway. Except for our differing concepts of parenting. And work. And love. Anyway... it was bearable - made slightly more so by the PIP of my WiiActive Workout.
Number Five: "Wii Active workout ONE"
Over kinda quickly. Proved how unfit I was as I strained my calf muscle in the first round of skipping. But the rest was good. Supposedly burned 108 Kcal which I have no idea what that means, except to say that I have eaten about that in one yoghurt icecream, so I refuse to eat anything else for the rest of the day. Also, I am concerned that tomorrow's reading will be considerably less as my new carpet has made my Wii Balance Board decide (after my work out) that I now only weigh 48kg (which I know must be wrong) compared to the 55kg it thought I weighed on the wood floors. As much as I love you carpet, I also don't trust you.
It's been on my hard-drive for ages now. And I always thought it was about helicopters and aeroplanes and other boring fighty stuff. Turns out it was about Bob Hawke and politics - and equally boring concept. I paid about as much attention to it as I do to politics in general, and still have little understanding about who is attending what party (I like the word attending - it makes it seem more fun). Anyway - another movie only made appealing by the sex scenes, although I must admit, a sex scene between my Offspring alter ego (yes, I am Nina Proudman) and a beer chugging, old, poly - not really something I'll ask to see again.
And now... I'm off to watch "One Day" which is looking promising already, despite the music suggesting it might be a love story. But that's ok - because I need to get all these thoughts of sex out of my head and be reminded how hideous love is.
